The present

For nine people I cooked 7 portions of bacon (correct), four sausages (two left) two pieces of black pudding (correct) and two pieces of haggis (half left). Mushies and eggs are cooked on demand.
"I'm getting better at predicting what people want for breakfast" I suggested
"Sheer luck" said Lorna
She's probably right - she usually is:-)

I've finally identified what the the noise from the extractor fan reminds me of.
If you've ever sat right at the back of a DC9 - that's pretty much the same pitch and level. We'll be getting a new extraction system as part of the kitchen refit and frankly it can't come soon enough.