The all new Spread Eagle Quiz

How well do you know your workmen

Test your knowledge of British workmen in our fun quiz below.

Q1) Workman says "I'll be there first thing Monday morning"

He means...
a) I'll be there first thing Monday morning
b) I'll be there first thing Monday morning unless something more important turns up
c) I'll turn up at 3pm on Thursday with neither explanation nor apology, do fifteen minutes work and then bugger off again until the following Tuesday

Q2) Workman tells you the job will cost £250.

He means...
a) He has carefully costed the job and the lowest price he can do it for is £250
b) He could do it for £75, but he has a new conservatory to pay for
c) He can say what he likes because the final bill will bear no relation whatsoever to the estimate.

Q3) Workman tells you that the timber is all rotten and will have to be replaced

He means...
a) the timber is all rotten and will have to be replaced
b) some of the timber is rotten, but it will save him time to replace all of it
c) A lot of timber has come into his possession recently

Q4) Workman encounters a problem

What does he do?
a) Comes and explains the problem, outlines his proposed solution and checks that you are happy with it.
b) Uses his initiative to work round the problem as best he can.
c) Goes home

Q5) Workman accidentally sets off fire alarm

What does he do?
a) Comes to find the owner, apologises, takes steps to make sure it won't happen again
b) Asks the owner to disable the alarm in the area he is working
c) Does not attempt to find the owner and ignores the alarm.

Q6) You tell the plumber where you want to put the bath, but mention that the joiners are working on the floor. You ask him to check with the joiner that the flooring work is finished before he installs the bath.

What does he do?
a) Speaks to the joiner and makes sure that the flooring work has been finished before continuing.
b) Does some other work until the joiners are clear of the bathroom.
c) Goes home.

Q7) The electrician is told to install a television aerial at head height for a wall mounted television. The cable for the television currently comes through the window and runs along the floor.

What does he do?
a) Comes and tells you there is a problem, suggests a solution and waits for your approval before continuing
b) Leaves a fish wire in place so that a new cable can be pulled through later
c) This...


Q8) The supervisor on a hotel refurbishment project is informed that a certain bedroom is urgently required on a particular day.

What does he do?
a) Informs his men of the urgency of the work and co-ordinates them efficiently.
b) Tells the men what needs done, but does not mention the urgency.
c) Sends the men to decorate another room which is not needed at all that weekend and does not mention anything about the urgent room.


Q9) A workman tells you that the job will be finished on Tuesday

He means
a) The job will be finished on Tuesday.
b) The job will be finished next Tuesday.
c) The job will be finished on some unspecified Tuesday in the distant future.

Q10) A contractor presents you with his bill

Do you
a) Pay it promptly
b) Laugh hysterically
c) Faint

How did you do?

Mostly a:
You sweet innocent thing! You have clearly never seen or employed a workman in your life. Keep it that way.

Mostly b:
You have either been very lucky or live in a modern flat

Mostly c:
Congratulations! You clearly have excellent experience of the ways of tradesmen. Go and have a drink - you probably need one.